Awan

I never felt like I truly belonged anywhere until I entered the doorway of that beautiful Midwin Lodge. My father died in 1961. Shortly after his death, my siblings and I were separated and placed in non-Indian foster homes many miles from our reservation. My childhood years were spent in over a dozen foster homes. My aIndiana identity was completely battered in those foster homes. I truly thought I could never heal from life-long scars which I could feel all the way to my core. I endured sadistic beatings, endless hours of hard labor, and total isolation. I attempted suicide shortly after I became a teenager. The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978, plus a very caring man named Tom, saved my life. I was certain I would die before age eighteen and may have if I hadn't returned to my people and found Tom. Throughout my life I had one prayer: aCreator, all I would like is to someday look in the mirror and honestly say I like myself, I'm worth something, and I truly feel like I'm an Indian.a Healing came from something which was always there. I would hear a drum sound during hard times. Even in those non-Indian foster homes that drum sound would come to me from the woods. When I found that drum, my life changed forever. My healing began. Now, wherever my feet touch the ground, that's where I belong, a Midewin who is proud to be an Anishinabe