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A reassuring book that examines what mothers have achieved and the questions they now face, from pressure to return to work, the role of fathers in childrearing and the value of meeting other mothers to share and solve problems. Some of what mothers learn can be taught. But what do mothers learn for themselves?When I was pregnant, I thought I was going to have a baby. But as soon as he was born, I saw that I had given birth to a person.I thought being a mother was about feeding and nappies. I didn't realise how much it would teach me about myself.People are always telling me that I must do this and do that with my kids. And I think: No! Having children makes you see what your values are.What mothers learn is both ordinary and very difficult. They are usually the first to relate to their babies. As they communicate by pre-verbal 'conversations', they gain an understanding of their babies - and also of themselves. Drawing on their words, What Mothers Learn describes the mothering experience as a journey of discovery. It demonstrates why mothering is so valuable to both mother and baby, and beneficial to society as a whole.For nearly 30 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers at her weekly discussion meetings, Mothers Talking, and at monthly meetings for La Leche League. She is also an existential psychotherapist, and specialises in seeing mothers and parent-couples. 'Naomi writes so gently; her words are a soothing balm in these months of confusion . . . Thank you, Naomi, for your wise words' JUNO'Essential reading for mothers' Breastfeeding TodayIt is amazing to listen to mothers and hear how much they learn.Each mother learns different things - some practical, some mysterious. However, some common patterns come through.Mothers learn that:*Mothering is more than baby- and childcare.*Babies can't talk but they can communicate.*Mothers are 'in conversation' with their babies.*Through their babies, mothers learn about themselves.*Mothers form families based on their own values.*The role of fathers is in the middle of a major change.*The reasons for maternal anger need to be understood.*Mothers can still be feminists.*Part of mothering is a spiritual experience.*Mothers bring usable experience back to their workplaces.What Mothers Learn will show, first, how learning to be a mother takes time, and then what a wonderful experience it can be. It also makes the case that, if enough of us agree that mothering is essential, society must find a way to reward the women who do it.
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