Twits on the Stump

As I approached, a placard that had been blocking my view slid aside and I beheld for the first time the countenance of Forsythia Oblongata. A sudden shock went through me, as though I had been shuffling over a luxurious woolen carpet while being rubbed vigorously with cats and had then reached for a lightning rod. Billionaire Cyril Chippington-Smythe is struck by Cupid's arrow but alas, his chinless cousin Binky has already staked a claim. In the confusion caused by an onslaught of hormones, Cyril finds himself running for public office against the rapacious Captain Bligh. Will his championing of the downtrodden cause the object of his fascination to shift her affections? Must he do the honourable thing and step aside in favour of his cousin? Can his Machiavellian mechanical valet, Bentley, untangle this Gordian knot?