The Things I Learned After Being Kicked Out of Church

The Things I Learned After Being Kicked Out of Church is written for individuals who have felt alienated from God because the church failed them. After another member of our church sexually molested my son, my husband and I turned to our pastors for guidance, empathy, and help navigating the trauma and pain such an experience produces. Instead, we were met with ill-equipped leaders, unable to express compassion, who imposed a "don't talk" rule and a "just forgive" directive. When those responses failed to meet our heart needs and provide safety to our children, the senior pastor, Che Ahn told us, he would "release us to find healing somewhere else." In other words, we were kicked out of the church. Like so many families wounded by church leadership or church culture, our children were ready to walk away-from both the church and the Lord. After all, how do you separate the two when the church has taught that they are family and committed to a covenant relationship? These were the only pastors our children had ever known, leaders who repeatedly emphasized covenant relationship-until life became uncomfortable and our family was cast aside. This book recounts our journey of learning to separate Jesus Christ from religious tradition as well as God's love from the flawed actions of people who claim to represent Him. My husband and I were unwilling to walk away from Jesus, knowing He had not treated us with such coldness or dismissal. Instead, we chose to let God teach us His truth leading to healing, and clarity. May this book offer hope to readers navigating spiritual disillusionment, church hurt, trauma, and faith reconstruction. It speaks directly to a growing audience of believers who love God but struggle with institutional religion-and it does so with honesty, courage, and grace.