Sir Faint A Lot and the Tentacled Truth

Sir Faint-A-Lot and the Tentacled Truth is a snarky first-contact sci-fi adventure about one very squeamish human, too many secrets, and far too many tentacles.Film student Paul just wants to make documentaries and maybe impress his crush. Instead, a drunken dorm confession from his Yup'ik roommate blows his life apart: aliens are real, they've been hiding in Denali for centuries, and his best friends are eight-eyed calamari-nightmares named Quincy and Sam who binge-watch sitcoms and insist on calling him "Sir Faint-A-Lot."What starts as a "quiet" trip to Alaska turns into: - A crash course in centuries-old alien diplomacy- A conspiracy linking tentacled miners, bat-like rivals and a world-spanning mega-corporation- Presidents replaced by clones and hidden in their own basements- A desperate plan to hijack a satellite using a billionaire's rocket, a hacked spacesuit, and one very nervous human stuffed inside an alien as a "biological EVA suit"As climate disasters mount and alien factions maneuver to claim Earth, Paul, Amka, Maewa and their unlikely crew must expose the truth to the entire planet, stop an engineered apocalypse, and somehow negotiate peace between species that can barely stand the sight of each other.If they fail, humanity gets shipped off into space as disposable cargo. If they succeed, the reward might be even stranger: world peace, new starships... and a one-way ticket off the only home they've ever known.Perfect for readers who like their science fiction with heart, humor, and unapologetically slimy aliens.