Nowhere to Run

'A funny, heartwarming story, packed with memorable characters that you'll want to cheer all the way. Ave it!'PETER KAY‘This heart-warming, genuinely funny little book is just the thing to lift the spirits.'DAILY MAILTHE ULTIMATE FUNNY GIFT FOR FOOTBALL FANS--On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism begins to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead.Battling to keep the club afloat, a record number of games without a win sees hope turn to despair as Jonathan contends with a mutiny from a group of octogenarian supporters, constant battles with the local council and a star striker who arrives on crutches despite somehow passing his medical.As the on-pitch form continues to deteriorate and rifts appear between him and his father, Jonathan begins to make some increasingly desperate decisions: sinking his savings into an ever-spiralling wage bill, hiding in a freezing outdoor storage unit to avoid questions and even seriously contemplating bringing in a local priest to lift the 'Boxing Day Curse' by performing a late-night exorcism on the pitch.Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club.'Beautifully written and engaging... funny, warm and entertaining. And stupid. Really stupid. I loved it!'MATT LUCAS'Best captures the illogical romance of the sport. It’s about the soul of English football – something the Saudi Arabian league can’t emulate for all the money in the world.'NEW STATESMAN

‘Captures the illogical romance of the sport’ NEW STATESMANEver wondered what it would be like to run your local football club?On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans. As his initial optimism begins to slip through his fingers, the new chairman of Ashton United starts to realize the scale of the challenge ahead.With a fan-led mutiny on his hands, a star striker on crutches, and a record number of games without a win, Jonathan is forced to make a series of increasingly desperate decisions – from sinking his life savings into an ever-spiralling wage bill to inviting a local priest to perform a late-night exorcism on the pitch.Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club.‘A glorious chronicle of memorable highs, bitter disappointments and never-ending bills’MIRROR