Never Ask for Flowers: Letters to Cupid (true stories) from the Frustrated Hearts

Dating comes with zero training, no manual, and one winged matchmaker who has some explaining to do.Never Ask for Flowers is a collection of 39 true dating disasters, told as letters of complaint to Cupid himself and Cupid writes back. Every letter gets an answer in rhyme: part retelling, part roast, part genuinely good advice. Each story closes with a dating tip sharp enough to keep in your quiver.Inside, you'll meet: - The boyfriend who wears sunglasses to the jewelry store (the rings are "too bright")- A blind date that ends ankle-deep in a goat pen- A college football date chaperoned by Grandpa- The gym rat who buys you ice cream just to watch you eat it- A man who counts every penny but never your worth- And one tulip that outlived an entire relationshipThen stick around for the bonus reviews, a collection of true micro stories where Cupid's customers rate his matchmaking. Averaging a brutal 2.1 stars, Cupid, ever the professional, responds to the feedback.Whether you're single and surviving out there, happily retired from dating and grateful for it, or nursing a fresh breakup with snacks in hand, these stories are the friend who says, "Okay, that's bad, but listen to what happened to me."Perfect for Galentine's Day, Valentine's survival kits, breakup care packages, white elephant exchanges, and anyone who ever asked for flowers and received exactly one.Scroll up and grab your copy. Flowers not included.