My Pirate Neighbour Alfonso Piracchini

When quiet-living immunologist Kuzma Centerius moves into his semi-detached castle in the Enchanted Kingdom of Whitley Bay, he expects peace, petri dishes, and the occasional fungal insight. Instead, he gets Alfonso Piracchini-a red-bearded pirate with turquoise trousers, a cannon in the shed, and a dangerous lack of restraint. Before long, Kuzma is hurled headfirst into an absurd quest involving time-travelling ships, sentient genies, Aztec gods with anger issues, and a fire-breathing raccoon named Phagocyte. Alongside the cannon-hauling Kurfürst Massimo, and an immunological mystery that smells faintly of anchovies, the crew bumbles toward a treasure guarded by volcanic islands, philosophical molluscs, and one particularly vengeful sabre-toothed toad.