Choosing Us

PRAISE FOR CHOOSING US “Choosing Us is the kind of marriage book couples actually need when they are hurting: direct, hopeful, practical, and deeply human. Jonathan Van Viegen doesn’t just explain what goes wrong in marriage; he shows couples how to choose each other again when it would be easier to quit.”—DR. JON DABACH, PhD, Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert “Van Viegen offers a thoughtful exploration of relational repair through both a therapeutic lens and candid personal reflection. Drawing on his clinical and personal experience, he shifts attention away from endlessly analyzing ruptures toward whether couples possess the hope and emotional capacity to rebuild connection. Insightful and deeply human, the book leaves readers with meaningful questions to pose to their partners about repair, reconnection, and what it truly takes to nurture a lasting and loving relationship.”—MARISA T. COHEN, PhD, LMFT, CST, Founder, Embracing Change Marriage and Family Therapy “If your relationship is hurting, from betrayal, conflict, or slow emotional drift, Choosing Us gives you a path forward, not just reassurance that things can get better. Through three unflinching real-world couples, this book turns the messiest relationship crises into a clear, actionable roadmap, the rare kind that actually changes behavior. Whether you’re rebuilding after infidelity or just feel like you’ve grown apart, this book meets you where you are and shows you how to get back to each other step-by-step.”—GARY W. LEWANDOWSKI JR., PhD, Professor of Psychology, Monmouth University “Relationship advice is abundant, but practical guidance that couples can genuinely put into practice is far rarer. Jonathan combines heartfelt storytelling with straightforward strategies that help partners move beyond blame and toward meaningful repair. This is an encouraging resource for couples committed to growing together.”—DR. RACHEL SOLARA, Clinical Psychologist and Couples Therapist “Choosing Us masterfully bridges the gap between deep clinical insight and practical, accessible implementation. With clarity, warmth, and wisdom, Jonathan Van Viegen translates powerful therapeutic concepts into tools that can be meaningfully applied in everyday practice.”—ALEXANDRA H. SOLOMON, PhD, Adjunct Professor at Northwestern University, MasterClass instructor, and bestselling author of Love Every Day Real therapy sessions reveal practical strategies for couples seeking deeper connection Couples therapy works, with approximately 70% of couples experiencing measurable improvements. Yet cost and access barriers prevent many from getting help. Choosing Us: Stories and Strategies to Strengthen Your Marriage from Inside the Therapy Room brings the therapy experience directly to readers through the stories of three couples navigating conflict resolution, communication breakdowns, trust issues, and infidelity under the guidance of therapist Jonathan Van Viegen. Each chapter presents a raw, emotional therapy session vignette that illuminates common relationship challenges. These stories are paired with prescriptive content and analysis, giving readers actionable strategies they can implement immediately. Van Viegen's contrarian approach challenges mainstream pop-psychology, offering fresh perspectives on relationship dynamics drawn from his years of clinical work and his popular Instagram content reaching fifteen million views monthly. Readers will also find: Practical communication techniques for resolving conflicts without escalation or emotional withdrawal from your partner Strategies for rebuilding trust after betrayal and creating stronger foundations for lasting intimacy and connection Tools to identify relationship red flags early and address underlying issues before they become destructive patterns Guidance on feeling chosen and cherished through specific behaviors and conversations that demonstrate genuine commitment Direct, honest advice that cuts through generic self-help platitudes to address real relationship struggles couples face Choosing Us serves married couples aged thirty to fifty-five seeking guidance on communication, conflict resolution, and trust. It also helps single individuals preparing for healthy future relationships and those rebuilding after divorce who want to avoid repeating past patterns.